Humility

While listening to a book on CD in the car this morning (Mark Sanborn's "The Encore Effect" which I'm thoroughly enjoying) I heard a quote I really liked. The author attributed it to a prominent pastor, but I also see online that it's sometimes attributed to C.S. Lewis and others as well. Check out this powerful yet succinct message.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.

The Schedule Remains the Same

My poor kids. Other children get to sleep late now that the school year has concluded. Mine still have to be up and about by 7:00 so I can bring them to "summer care" on my way to work. The summer care program is run by the district at the same school where the before and after care program is run during the school year. It's fab for working parents: opens at 7:30 and closes at 6:00. I frankly have no idea what other working parents do about day camps that have hours like 9 to 3. How do they keep their jobs during the summer? Sleepaway camps cost the earth (for one child it's more than we pay for our three children combined).

There are other nice aspects of this situation. The staff is mostly the same from the school year (which is mostly a good thing) but there are two male teachers who join the group for the summer. One, the owner's son, is a music teacher, and he has done some fabulous work with my older two boys. They've learned how to play the lap harp (oh c'mon it's really cute) and last summer Son #1 learned some drums, guitar, and keyboards. They have theme days and barbecues at the school, plus a sprinkler for when it gets too darned hot. They go on trips at least once a week, mostly to parks. A few really nice trips are taken to see ball games or museums or performances. At the end of the session they do a talent show. All included in the price, including breakfast and lunch and snacks. Too bad it's only seven weeks and not ten. Oh well, nothing's ALL good...

Eeny Meeny

Is anyone else old enough to remember the episode of The Brady Bunch where little Cindy can only have one ticket to the school play and doesn't know whether to ask Mommy or Daddy? Our week was a bit like that.

Son #2's moving up ceremony was this morning at the elementary school (exiting 5th graders are headed for the middle school). We were originally told that there would be three tickets per child, because of space constraints. Now begins the fun.

My son asked Grandma (my mom) if she could come to the ceremony. She said that she didn't think she could get the day off work. Daddy, the electrician, is working on a rush-rush project, so he wouldn't be attending. Older brother had a final exam that day so he wouldn't be able to come (though he was mighty disappointed...and who are we to discourage such an obvious show of brotherly love?). Mommy was able to take the morning off, so that's one ticket accounted for. My father-in-law and his wife would be in town to attend Son #1's bar mitzvah over the previous weekend, so they could have the other two tickets. Great, that worked out. Or so I thought.

Then...older son found out that his final would be over at 9:45 and he could walk over to the ceremony to be there by 10:00...IF he only had a ticket. Sigh. Grumble. But...we found out that a fourth ticket would be available for some families via lottery...so we put our name in and hoped for the best. Still OK. Right?

It gets better. Grandma wasn't aware of the ticket limit, so unbeknownst to us she groveled until she was able to get today off. She was all excited when she called me earlier in the week to let me know. So I had to drop the bomb and tell her that all the tickets were accounted for, and that Son #1 had been promised the fourth ticket if we were lucky enough to get it. "Oh. OK. I'll just sit at home that day." I think my Italian mother has finally assimilated the concept of Jewish guilt after living on Long Island for 40 years. Believe it or not, I offered her my own ticket and held my breath. She declined, and said that the Florida folks should go because they've never attended anything like this for the kids before. But...I told her I'd check with the school to see whether any more tickets were available...with a heavy heart of course.

The ticket envelope that came home that afternoon had four tickets in it. Hmm...a blessing, or a curse? An argument ensued between the boys. My oldest, bless his little 13 year old heart, told his brother that he was going to give his ticket to Grandma. Middle brother got upset because he really wanted his brother to see him graduate (more display of brotherly love? can you stand it?). After much discussion, we got Son #2 to realize (reluctantly) that the best thing to do for the sake of the oldsters was to let Grandma go. Son #1 called her with the news. But we still held out for the seeming impossibility of a fifth ticket. Son #1 would call after his science final was over, to see whether it was worth trudging over to the elementary school.

I called the school this morning to ask for the miracle. The very polite secretary in the main office said that the assistant principal had no more tickets but would call if something turned up. OK, I thought: that's that. WELL...at 9:25 a.m. the phone did ring. They'd finagled an extra seat. After profuse thanks, I hung up and waited for my older son to call. Boy was he excited. I even managed to swing by and fetch him so he wouldn't have to walk the whole way. How often does this much luck fall into place?

The ceremony was as cute and wonderful as they all are. The fifth grade sang a lovely song called "Dream A Dream" in three part harmony and of course I got all teary eyed. And the applause for my kid was extra loud with ten family hands instead of six.

Geek Humor

I'm sure that appreciation for this kind of humor helped earn me the senior class elected title of Most Intellectual in high school.

Joke #1: A mathematician got an earful from his wife after wandering home at 3 a.m. "You're late!" she yelled. "You said you'd be home by 11:45!"

"Actually," the mathematician replied coolly, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."

Joke #2: The linguist's husband caught his wife in the arms of another man. "Susan," he said, "I'm surprised!"

"No, I'M surprised," she corrected him. "YOU'RE astonished."

Thank you, Reader's Digest...

Longfellow Quote

As I often do between bites of oatmeal, I went through a stack of puzzles this morning. Wednesday's cryptoquote from Newsday touched me. The phrase I cracked first was "the heart" and when I saw the entire quote I considered that this is a perpetual struggle of parenting. Think before we speak, especially when we're stressed.

"A torn jacket is soon mended, but hard words bruise the heart of a child."

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Teens Need Love Too

Riding in the hired car from LaGuardia Airport last night, my colleague's wife was joking that her teenagers would say "Hey Mom" when she walked through the door after being away in DC for five days and then they would go back to expecting the slave domestic labor, chauffering, walking ATM, etc.  I pondered what this would mean for my oldest, who'll have his 13th birthday this weekend.

He really put a smile on my face.  Big, long hugs when I walked in the door.  Big, long hugs at tuck in time.  Not the usual early morning charade today.  He actually forced himself to wake up when I went into his room to move the process along, so he could give me a hug and a kiss.  He missed me, and wasn't afraid to let me know.   Sigh, happiness really is a warm hug.  Charles Schulz was a genius.

From the Nation's Capital

It has been a genuine pleasure to be a tourist in Washington, D.C. for a few days while working a conference here. The Special Libraries Association annual powwow is one of my regular meetings. It's a real treat to see and talk with the Physics/Astronomy/Math division folks, even in the face of disastrous financial news this year. Many tales are being told about science libraries being "consolidated" with general or humanities collections (a euphemism for the closure of the science library and the downsizing of staff). I hope they will weather the storm.

The DC Metro is very clean, and I had no problem following the signs when I wondered which side of the tracks would be the train northeast or southwest...and where to go to transfer from the green line to the red line. I'm not a city person at all, and because of business trips I know many cities a whole lot better than I know Manhattan. I found the art most inspiring at the National Portrait Gallery and the Hirshhorn Museum. Since I don't mind warm, muggy weather, I enjoyed walking The Mall to see the sights. Having seen the Reflecting Pool in movies (such as Forrest Gump) it was weird and wonderful to stand at the edge of it. Hearing live blues amid thousands of people on the lawn by the Monument gave me a real sense of "we the people."

Heading home tonight. If I arrive before 9PM, I'll have to ask the driver to drop me at the corner of my street, which will still be blockaded because of the US Open. I hope the golf fans are enjoying themselves, anyway!

Parents Who Need Orientation

Folks, stand up and shake the hand of Reality!

Last night I attended a parent orientation meeting at the middle school, for those who have incoming sixth graders in September (elementary school is K through 5 in our district).  We were there for two hours.  While there were presentations from the principal, assistant principal, guidance counselors, and teachers, a good chunk of the session was spent addressing questions.  

I was amazed by some of the information I heard.  Because this is my second child to move up to the middle school, I wasn't paralyzed with fright as I'd been two years ago, and was able to listen in relaxed fashion (crochet hook in hand most of the time).  Top five amusing points made by the principal:

5.  If a child lives far enough away from the school to qualify for bus transportation, and the parent wishes the child to walk instead, the school is not going to hunt the child down and force him or her to ride the bus.  (This was in response to a question!)

4.  If a teacher notices that a child's attire may be inappropriate, the child is sent to the principal's office for the final judging (so consistency can be applied).  Some parents are incredulous that the child was not snagged at the beginning of the school day instead of, say, 5th period.  It never occurred to some of these people that the kids pull their pants halfway down or pull their skirts all the way up AFTER they arrive at school?  As if they would've been able to leave the house that way.

3.  Elementary school kids in our district are told categorically:  no backpacks with wheels.  There's technically no such restriction in middle school BUT parents don't consider that the wheeled backpacks are almost always too wide to fit into a school locker!

2.  Speaking of lockers, parents are told to buy the standard Master locks for our middle school kids.  No keys, no fancy Hannah Montana locks, no top of the line $40 works of art.  However, the principal said that, on any given day, he could walk through the hall and open many lockers with ease.  Why?  At least 40% of them have those fancy locks, which the kids have begged their parents to buy -- BUT the fancy ones are too large to fit on the locker.  So they just hang there without being able to close (and, therefore, lock).

1.  For seven years, since the principal has been at this school, he's been making the same speech about cell phones.  Buy them for your children if you must, but if the phone is seen during school hours, it then becomes his property and you, the parent, must go to his office personally to retrieve it.  What's the number one reason kids have cell phones taken away?   They are caught answering a call or text from a parent!   DUH!

Honk If You're Geeky

One of Twitter's current hot topics is #geekpickuplines.   I just had to look!   Here are the ten I liked best.

Ping me.

How much does a polar bear weigh?  Enough to break the ice!  Hi, my name is...

Let's make like an atom and split.

My name's Vista.  Can I crash at your place tonight?

Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out.

Nuclear fusion has nothing on you.

Are those tweets natural?

Wanna see what I built in my garage?

Will you be the captain in my star fleet?

I have a tape measure on my keychain.

&%@$# the Money

My grandma used to say that all the time.  If there was some little thing she wanted to do, and she had the cash, she would do it.  It's only money.

We learned a valuable lesson about this eight years ago.  Close friends of ours were getting married soon.  The IBEW had no work for hubby, with none in sight.  Times were tough.  I was six months pregnant with our youngest, and we still had one in diapers.  We didn't have enough in the budget to write out a nice check for a wedding present, especially according to hubby's code of honor which means you have to at least "pay for your plate" at a fancy affair.  With heavy hearts, we sent regrets.  

Our friends begged us to reconsider.  &%@$# the money, they said.  It wouldn't be right for them to miss us on their special day just because we couldn't write a check.  It was the event that mattered.  We got lots of phone calls about it, and finally the groom spoke with hubby and got their strong message across.  Our friendship is priceless.  Reflecting on that gave us great perspective, which was wonderful timing as we were about to bring another child into the world.  We attended the wedding, and they were very emotional in their appreciation.

Why am I telling this story?  I recalled this situation because we know someone who is now struggling with a similar dilemma.  I thought it was a good opportunity to tell all my friends that their friendship is priceless.  And always will be.

So What's Not to Love?

A close pal of mine forwarded this article about U.S. Energy Secretary Steven Chu going on record as saying that he's a nerd.

http://www.reuters.com/article/politicsNews/idUSTRE5536QM20090604

What I want to know is:  what's so bad about that?  In Chu's case, he's 15th in line to the presidency.  He has security detail.  He won a Nobel Prize.  He gave the address at Harvard's commencement ceremony (where he admitted to being a card carrying nerd).

Maybe it's because I _am_ a nerd and have always been one, but I think nerds can be pretty cool (OK OK so this is like maternity fashion and jumbo shrimp).  We are usually straight up about things because we don't have the savvy or interest to play relationship games.  We're smart.  We don't blow the monthly budget on fashion or sports car payments...and we make good money doing sci/tech jobs.  Often we have a great sense of humor, if you're quick enough to catch it and you're immersed enough in nerd culture to understand the references.  At a moment's notice we can drop whatever we're doing and give you the grail to solving your Sudoku, Jumble, or crossword.  If you're lucky enough to be loved and respected by a nerd, we're very loyal.  Unless you turn traitor, and then we will come up with some diabolical plan to make you wish you were never born.  Nyuk nyuk nyuk.  (Whoops, I was just kidding about that last part.  As far as you know.)  We get to do neat things like give speeches at graduations (I, as salutatorian, spoke at my own) and tune up the band before concerts (this was my twelve year old son, the music and academic nerd).

I do admit that, as a teen, it seemed as though the people with the "right" clothes and "right" friends had it all going on.  Later I found out that quite a few of them admired the nerds, because they were allowed to be themselves and do what they loved instead of spending lots of time worrying about trying to fit in and keep up with the popular kids.  

Had I been at Harvard yesterday, I would've given Chu a standing ovation.  Give it up for the nerds!  And take another look at all the nerds in your life to see what else they have to offer you.  You might be pleasantly surprised.

What Sharp Teeth You Have, Mom and Dad!

Waiting at a traffic light this morning, on the way to take Son #3 to before school care, I spotted a bumper sticker in the window of a plain white van in the other lane.

Please forgive me.  I was raised by wolves.

After I stopped laughing, I wondered what the driver would look like.  Unfortunately, the van turned right at the light before I could see into the front.  If you spot this vehicle, let me know.

Should I Feel Guilty?

Just talked with hubby before getting ready to head home from work.  He reported that 1) Son #1 called his clarinet tutor to cancel his lesson because he has some gunk on his instrument that must be cleaned by our friend at the music store...right now it doesn't sound too good; and 2) Son #2's soccer coach called to cancel practice, since it's begun to rain there (I work 40 minutes away so can't tell what the weather is at home unless I ask).  THIS means we have nowhere to chauffeur kids around this evening; our normal pick up/drop off tasks interfere with dinner etc.  

I feel an intense relief at this news.  And a slight pang of guilt because I'm relieved that two kid activities were cancelled.  :-)   That's OK.  I have to make a dessert tonight for our company picnic tomorrow.  Yes I do suffer from volunteer disease.  As if I weren't busy enough.  LOL.

Lovely Huntington Harbor

We had the pleasure of being invited to a friend's 40th birthday party on Sunday afternoon.  This was the view of the harbor and the garden out the back door of the catering hall.  Oh yeah I guess there's one picture each of hubby and me as well.  Some view.  :-)

Where's Tonto?

After dinner, I parked in the lot at Home Depot (to buy another can of paint, what else?!?) and diagonally across from me was a Ford Expedition with a very entertaining license plate.  It's even more so, because I work with physicists and chemists.  

HI YO AG

Committing...

Most of this weekend has been a blur.  Friday night I began painting our bedroom at around 8:00, and with breaks for eating, sleeping (OK not much), and soccer games, I finished the last coat (the ceiling) at 10:00 Sunday morning.  Light tan walls, pretty pink trims.  Hubby was getting really cranky about having to sleep on the living room couch for two nights.  I had to pull the pad off the other couch and into Son #2's room just to get a second REM cycle both nights, because of hubby's "heavy breathing" (because he will tell you militantly that he does not snore).  Ceiling fans only help so much as white noise.  But it's done, and now all of the bedrooms are.  Next stop, living room.  Not sure whether it will be this coming week, or whether it will wait until after the US Open (bracing ourselves).

We had a good chuckle at dinner on Friday.  We went to Ciminelli's, a very good neighborhood Italian place if you're ever in or near Bethpage, NY.  Hubby was having a heart to heart with the two older kids about approaching manhood (again) and how they should conduct themselves, as a reflection of how their parents raised them (hopefully).  He was trying to convey a father's desperation when taboo behaviors are repeated in public situations.  Instead of saying that he feels like committing harakiri, he said that he sometimes feels like committing beriberi.  (Guess we'd better stock up on whole grains and veggies!)  I thought maybe the ghost of Yogi Berra had come for a visit.  Hubby does stumble upon other malapropisms on occasion.  I have to remember to blog about them more often...