See What I've Gone and Done...

I originally tried the blogging thing to see how hard it was, to see what the big deal was, and to see whether it gave me the release I was looking for. After all, one can't put too much prose on FB and Twitter...at least to have it end up as pretty and as compact as it is here in the blogosphere.

I guess I've walked the walk. This year, as of the other day, I posted 129 times, as opposed to 50 times in 2008. Hopefully everyone's not sick of my photos and my blathering on about the kids and my home life. I'm not one of those could-you-just-vomit parents whose children never seem to do anything wrong, though; you ought to be getting a balanced picture of the smiles and the tears and the overall chaotic way of life.

I look hopefully towards 2010 for improvements in personal economy, global politics, kindness to one's fellow man (woman/child/pet/etc.), stress level, and outlook for the physical state of the planet. Happy New Year to all, with fondest regards.

Putting Gift Cards on Ice

The day after Christmas, we bowled in an adult/junior tournament, same as we'd done the day after Thanksgiving. We'd asked to be placed with our friend C and his eleven year old son, who lives in MA with his mother most of the year but is like a fourth kid of mine when he's in town. During the bowling, C pulled me aside and asked whether we were supposed to be having the kids exchange holiday presents. I shrugged, since we hadn't discussed it this year.

After a few minutes of talking about gift cards, I suggested we just take the kids somewhere as their holiday present. We settled on ice skating...C had never taken his son, and hadn't been in a long time himself...not since his youth when he skated at Prospect Park in Brooklyn. Guess what: they had a blast when we went yesterday, and they want to make it an annual tradition.

Take a look:

Oh, and, for some reason, I bowled better on tournament day than I have in years, a 554 series (196, 167, 191). I'm carrying a 135 average in our league. Hubby had a wisecrack about seeing how well I'll bowl in two weeks when it's league night. Killjoy!

Psst...Wanna Rent a Mini Van?

Yeah, over here!

Huh, why rent a mini van? OK I'll back up. For six and a half years, and over 163K miles, I owned an eight passenger mini van. Hubby was very high on getting a mini van when my Pontiac Grand Am had to be replaced. We had three growing children at that point plus all of their stuff to tote around. An eight passenger vehicle, with three rows of seats, at the time cost $25K (basic options) and we just about were able to afford the 66 month loan because they were running a zero percent APR financing deal.

One of the first things we did when we got the van home was to remove the middle seat in the second row, so the kids could climb in and out freely. Y'know when we put it back in? When we were getting ready to donate the van to charity. The kids did have a lot of room to clamber around back there, but they still managed to fight and kick one another. There was ample room in the back for chairs, boogie boards, soccer balls, hockey equipment, etc. but it was mostly vertical space and we had problems with items falling out when we opened the hatch. Filling the tank was always expensive and of course was not fun during the $4 per gallon stretch. It was downright convenient, however, to go places all together with my mom as a family or to grab a couple of the kids' friends to go here and there.

I'm sure hubby would have loved to see me get another van, but no. The five passenger SUV drives like a car, which is comfortable for me and safer in my opinion. I've had it for three months and am still thrilled 5K miles later! $25 fills up the tank...what a difference. Payments are comparable to the van, with 5% financing, and it's "only" a 48 month loan. The rear storage space is more convenient to use, as it's deep instead of vertical.

And now we get to Christmas. We can either drive two cars to New Jersey to visit my aunt and uncle, or we can rent a mini van tomorrow and return it the day after Christmas. Since we don't do that more than a few times a year, and since it's a $200 expense, I'm more than happy to do it when I think about the chronicles of our own mini van.

Just call me rental girl. :-)

Bully for Them!

We returned a little while ago from the oldest child's band concert. The wind ensemble played an awesome upbeat version of White Christmas, and did very well with Sousa's "Thunderer." I guess they ought to have played well, since our first chair clarinetist tuned them up, ahem, LOL. Proud parent syndrome, sorry.

The jazz band really kicked it, though. Only three clarinets and a couple of handfuls of wind and brass instruments, combined with five electric guitars, keyboards, and drums. Their rendition of Wooly Bully nearly brought the house down! They also did Light My Fire, which is not one of my favorites, but they did a good job.

Another fun result is that there are no jazz band rehearsals for my eighth grader until the end of January, which means two less mornings of leaving the house at 6:40AM. Yippee!

Hop-py Hanukkah

Last week our middle son was thinking about what to do to enter the Hebrew school's creative menorah making contest. He's the creative one in the family so, if anyone had a chance, he would. Looking at some empty beer bottles (washed, and on the drain board drying) gave him an idea.

Eight Heineken Light bottles, and one Samuel Adams bottle (some retrieved from the recycling bucket in the garage) would be the candle holders. My husband, the beer aficionado -- and the one with the tools, materials, and mechanical ability -- was only to happy to help. He used some impressive wood glue to attach the bottles to a leftover piece of plank, suitably sized. Then he made a pedestal out of other wood scraps. My job was to find candles. Luckily, Target had some white pillars which served the purpose with only a little shaving at the bottom.

Yesterday was the contest. They had a Hanukkah celebration so we were all allowed to go and see. The other menorahs (eight of them) were mostly boring by comparison, except for one that was made from rubber ducks and birthday candles. Very nice colors, but none was as outrageous as my son's. He took first prize.

I was a bit worried that his invention might seem a bit flippant or irreverent as far as the religious authorities were concerned, but my fears vanished when one of the Rabbis came over to ask whether we used light beer because it's the Festival of Lights. :-)

Happy holidays to you and yours, whatever you're celebrating!

Busting Loose

This is difficult for me to write, as I struggled with a weight problem as an adolescent.

One of my sons was getting dressed this morning in his concert clothes, which he hasn't worn in a while. White button down shirt, black slacks, tie. First thing wrong is that he hadn't tried them on, say, a week ago, to give me enough time to shop if needed. Sigh. Anyway, there was only one pair of slacks in the entire house that had fit before (size 16 husky, with the length taken up) and he couldn't find them at 6:30AM. There was also one shirt, and one shirt only, in a husky size, that fit. Once both items were located, they just about fit, but he was busting out of them in the belly area. Looks awful, of course, but at least he was able to attend the concert.

This is a kid who's plenty active, with soccer and basketball and hockey. He just loves to eat. Anything. Not only junk; he does enjoy salads and other healthy foods. For an eleven year old he's off the weight charts. Though tall for his age, he's still in the 99+ weight percentile for his height. We work with him for healthy balance of both food and portions, which he usually accepts with no complaint, but as he grows taller he continues to have the huge gut. He must be cheating somewhere but we're not (and can't be) the food police. He's getting to the age where he has to manage his own behavior.

What can a parent do? Hope the light bulb comes on someday? I ate for emotional reasons, and only stopped abusing my body when I was a college student and was tired of sticking out like a sore thumb in a sea of young shapely females. BUT...even though I have maintained my weight since age 19, apart from the three pregnancies, I still feel like there is a fat person trying to get out of my body and I have to keep her locked up carefully. This is powerful stuff. Quite unlike the alcoholic, smoker, speed freak, heroin addict, etc. who can abstain totally -- every day there is food, and we must decide what to do about it...sometimes on an hourly basis...and there is also the issue of how many calories to drink. I may die of cancer because of my aspartame consumption from diet drinks; who's to say? A balancing act all the time.

We will continue to support our son emotionally and pray that he finds a stronger motivation to get healthy, sooner rather than later. Along with many similar parental struggles. As my grandma used to say, patience and fortitude.

Compound It!

Last night hubby got home from work later than expected, and had to go to a 6:00 physical therapy appointment, so I had to pick up the littlest from after school care. We barely had time to eat before Son #1's choral concert, so homework had to be done later in the evening. (Concert was fab, BTW: mixed chorus was outstanding, and the chamber group of 14 kids was wonderful...my son being only one of three tenors.)

The language arts assignment was to find as many compound words as possible, to fill two sides of a piece of paper. The teacher said that the record to date was 93 words. Well, that's all my kid had to hear: a challenge. After coming up with around 50 at random, we pulled out a cookbook and a newspaper. He was actually squealing with delight of discovering "teaspoon" and "fireman." By bedtime, we had 150 words and of course could have found more, but our third grader was thrilled.

At times like this, I'm thrilled too; I've passed on my love of words! Son #1 seems to have clamped on as well. Jury's still out on the middle guy. :-)

Words to the Wise

Last night we'd meant to go out to an early dinner for hubby's birthday (with my mom treating, yippee) but he didn't arrive home 'til 4:30 and that would have been cutting it too close due to Son #1's clarinet lesson at 7:00. So, we went with the next best thing and ordered in Chinese food. (Even I, normally Supermom, didn't feel like cooking after such a busy weekend.)

While none of our fortune cookies contained an actual fortune (f'rinstance, "You will be hungry again in one hour") there was some advice worth remembering. Namely:

It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you did it wrong.

Never depend on others to make you happy. You can do it yourself.

Don't just spend time. Invest it.

Mamas, Let Your Babies Grow up to Be Safe Drivers

I have mostly been enjoying my business trip here in Boston. The exhibit booth experience, interacting with PhD scientists, has been overwhelmingly positive so far, and I have been getting my fill of the local seafood. My colleagues here are charming, and I've gotten to see three friends who live in the area plus two more tonight. However, I received bad news yesterday and can't do a thing about it except alert other friends.

One of our long time friends from the volleyball group at the Mid Island Y lost his teenage son in an automobile accident on Monday. I know no other details but was told that he hit a parked car. I've no idea whether the impact was at a high speed, or whether the injury was in an unlucky spot and it was merely "one of those things." This is J's only child. My heart breaks for his former wife, and for his current wife (the boy's stepmom). I'm going through the same cycle I did when my cousin lost her daughter to cancer two and a half years ago: feeling lucky that I have three beautiful children, and wondering why other people's children didn't make it.

One memory that haunts me is the conversation we had with J and his wife the last time they were at our home (they'd come for a mini reunion with mutual friends who now live in Knoxville and were visiting LI). J said he was constantly worried that his son wasn't a safe driver and had already been in more than one collision.

I drive 400 miles each week during my commute, and a lot of local and highway driving over the weekends too. I see way too many people who seem to think they are playing a video game. Don't I wish that J's son could have had a RESET button to push. Let's all try our best to impress upon our children that "drive defensively" is not merely a cutesy commercial. One day a young person is living, and the next day there is nothing. If this saves one life, it will be more than worth the effort.

Oh yes...and let's hug our kids and let them know how much they mean to us and why this is so important. You can bet the Three Amigos will get huge hugs on Friday afternoon when I get home. How ironic that I will have to drive four hours or so to get there.