How the Other Half Lives

This year, because Labor Day is late, we had 3 1/2 weeks between the end of camp and the beginning of the school year. Hubby, an electrician who doesn't get paid if he doesn't work, can't take a lot of time for financial reasons. My original plan was to take the first week off, ask hubby to take the second week, and then to take the last week and a half myself. However...his current job is on a tight deadline (they're even working overtime). So we worked out what might seem like a kooky arrangement for that second week. He would go to the job in the morning, come home at noon, and I would go to the office and work my full shift (spending a lot more time with the folks on the night crew than I normally get to do...they are on site 'til 12).

We are at the end of that second week. Here are my observations about working 1 to 9PM.

-- having mornings off allowed me to schedule doctor's appointments (and the weekday scene is much less of a zoo than Saturday mornings are)

-- doing laundry in the morning is easier for me than at night because I'm a morning person

-- sleeping until 7 or 7:30 is a real luxury (no, even I don't wake up naturally all the time at 5AM)

-- retail shopping is easier on a weekday the morning if I have to bring the kids with me, compared to weeknights (when they should be eating dinner, showering, or getting ready for bed) and the weekend madhouse

-- I don't have "alone time" at home because I'm so tired at 10 when I get there that I have to go to sleep soon afterwards

-- I have to either eat lunch early, before I leave the house, or bring two meals to work with me plus snacks

All in all, there are a lot of pluses but I really find that I'm dragging if I have to actively be in "use the brain" mode so late at night. So I have a lot of respect and admiration for people who work the night shift...but I conclude that it would be difficult to do on a regular basis!

Teenage Boys

A couple of days ago, a close friend of ours met his foster son, a fifteen year old who endured a long journey from Germany to arrive on Long Island. Our friend has been single his whole life, and has wanted to become a parent for a long time. He thought about asking a female friend to serve as a surrogate mom, but ultimately decided to take the parenting classes for fostering.

A colleague of mine who grew up as a product of the foster care system had two pieces of advice for new foster parents: 1) listen, listen, listen to your child; 2) boys can be tough around the ages of 13 to 16, so be prepared. This colleague is the mother of four sons, the oldest of whom is 20, so she speaks from experience. Number one piece of advice is a great reminder for ANY parent, as far as I can tell.

The other reflection I have about my colleague's advice is an unhappy one. An old friend wrote to me to say that her 16 year old son took his own life a month ago. This old friend always seemed to be a warm, loving person who would be a great mom, so my heart really aches for her. I also am stricken by a sense of "what a waste of a young life" as I fully believe that it disturbs the order of things when a child predeceases a parent. Yes there are various reasons, such as auto accidents and serious illnesses. Not knowing this 16 year old, I don't know whether his suicide was an attempt to be heard or understood.

You can bet that I've been reminded to cherish my own children. I've also just flipped to the teenage chapter with Son #1...aauugghh!

Summer Camp Ends

On Tuesday the kids had their "art and music" day of show and tell at their day camp. Here are pix of Son #1 and his art folder, Son #2 playing the guitar, and Son #3 playing the lap harp. The highlight of the musical entertainment was a ten year old moonwalking to Michael Jackson tunes. He was really good!

One of my kids turned a pet rock into a fish by gluing feathers to the sides, and painting it all orange. One scrawled "Luke I am your father" on his art folder. The other wrote disparaging remarks about one of his brothers across the front of his art folder. Sigh, if anyone gives these guys a Rorschach test, I'm screwed.

Three more weeks until school starts! Mom and Dad will be attempting to keep the Three Amigos occupied, without going insane. Rorschach tests all around, LOL!

Namaste

I've been saying for a while that I'd like to try Yoga. Well, the fall continuing education brochure listed a Tuesday night class at our high school, and I've signed up. $45 for nine sessions seems like a good deal for 90 minute classes. Because of parent-teacher conferences and holidays, we begin at the end of September but don't finish until mid December. So shall we see how broadened my horizons become!

All Good Gifts

This week I've been listening to (yet another) book on CD, former Prez Bill Clinton's "Giving." Yes I know I am in no need of enthusiasm or uplifting spirit on a regular basis, but he describes an incredible variety of philanthropic activities around the globe, many of which were unknown to me.

Since my boys never wanted to join a scout troop, I am always keen in the back of my mind to have them take on volunteer activities sometime. They do enjoy shopping with me for the Brookhaven food pantry, from our collections at the office, which I do about once a year, and they loved it when we went to an INN soup kitchen this past winter to donate money and a blanket I had crocheted. They seem to like watching me create all the afghans for Schneider Children's Hospital. They have participated in a few cancer walks with me, and they have done a few school sponsored activities (e.g. Hoops for Heart).

I heard about a site called volunteermatch.org in Mr. Clinton's book, and looked there last night. They have listings of events in local areas that need volunteers (once you supply your ZIP code). I'm going to follow up on an Easter Seals walk/run that will be held near our house in September, to see whether the kids and I can help there.

I haven't checked this out yet, but for people who want to donate funds to something innovative, kiva.org accepts $25 or more which you may earmark for a fledgling entrepreneur somewhere in the world. Sounds like this could really make a difference in a family's life, much more directly than making some other kinds of contributions.

Let's all be grateful for all we have to make our lives rich (the least of which would be materially based). It's a beautiful Long Island Friday.

Out Out Damned Spots

Whoo hoo, the dentist removed the six spots that had been welded onto my bottom teeth last June. That means we're getting into the home stretch of the Invisalign process. I just got the upper and lower retainers tonight. Have to wear 'em for the next three months to stabilize everything, and also to move the teeth a bit more towards ideal positioning (mostly the lower jaw). Then it's only at night from that point forward! Yay!