Sunday, November 30, 2008

Winter's on the Wing

Today I drove up to Boston, on business.  This is one of three trips I do each year.  I assist our marketing and publications efforts by talking to myriad scientists at our booth in the exhibit hall at the Hynes Convention Center.  Have I said how much I cherish these trips?  Sure, it's work, BUT all I need to do is get my own self out of bed and dressed each morning (and not at 5am, neither!).  No cooking, cleaning, chauffering, or overseeing of kids' activities.  I can read the newspaper (well, USA Today is technically a newspaper) each morning as I munch on some breakfast in a nice bathrobe without worrying about anyone walking in on me.  Alone time.  

I have to admit that I was psyched when I exited from the Orient Point Ferry this morning and saw that the rain was mixing with snow in Connecticut.  I love driving in the snow.  I suppose this is a throwback to my undergraduate days in upstate NY.  But I also think I'm ready for winter to arrive.  Yesterday I wrapped a bunch of Christmas presents before dinner.  Hanukkah is all set to go (and the kids know this -- because if the presents weren't wrapped already, they'd be snooping all week while I'm gone).  Holiday snapshots of the kids are in envelopes with stamps on, ready to be mailed after I arrive home.  Yes, part of this is the geek compulsiveness, but it's also that any extra projects at home require advance organization...there are only small chunks of time here and there, to work on them.  Whew, I feel pretty good now.

Time to iron my business clothes for the week and unpack.  Oh yes, and I just turned the heat in the hotel room up to 73.   

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Teach Your Children Well

Monday night I attended the parent-teacher conferences for my two elementary school students.  Boy did we hit the jackpot this year (I mean this in a good way -- usual sarcastic M.O. aside).

My fifth grader was in a really bad spot last year at this time.  I thought for sure the teacher was going to dress me down or throw a chair at me.  My son wasn't handing in a lot of homework, his attention was constantly wandering in class, his behavior was disruptive, he wasn't fitting in socially, he wasn't showing his intelligence...and it went downhill from there.  The teacher was enormously frustrated with him in just about every way.  But we perservered.  By the spring, we'd worked with the principal and the school social worker/psychologist and done some evaluations to determine that my curly haired fourth grader fit 80% of the profile of an ADD child.  Lo and behold, the teacher tried a few basic strategies with repetition and focus -- and all the behaviors improved pronto.  At the end of the year, the principal told me she had the ideal fifth grade teacher:  a stickler for classroom behavior and a stickler for academic performance, all rolled up in a patient personality.  I couldn't wait!

This year's conference had taken a complete 180 degree turn.  This fifth grade teacher is exactly what the principal promised, and my son's performance shows that he excels in a supportive environment.  Dare to be different as long as you are encouraged to be your best, no matter what.  My little guy's second grade teacher also fits this bill.  Son #3 dances to his own tune:  literally!  He loves the latest teeny bopper artists like Miley Cyrus and Vanessa Hudgens, and loves to draw butterflies and make paper snowflakes.  He holds the second highest record for jumping rope at the after school program.  He worships his girl friends and everything that is theirs.  Instead of telling him that he's a sissy, his teacher gets him to bring out his unique perspective and talents in his writing and in the books he chooses in the classroom.   He is also excelling academically.

In addition to their approach, both of these teachers have bright eyes, warm smiles, and animated voice and body language.  Their faces come alive when they are discussing individual students.  I'll bet this really helps my boys relate to them as people as well as educators.  Three cheers for the fabulous teachers out there (including my wonderful friend Jen who home schools her four children).  I have come across a few stinkers in my time, and am thankful for the winners!

Speaking of which, I hope that all of those I hold dear are able to reflect on something positive during their Thanksgiving celebrations.  Keep smiling!

Monday, November 24, 2008

What Have You Done Today to Make You Feel Proud?

This morning, I was doing the post breakfast ritual of brushing my teeth and washing my braces so I could pop them back in, and from the bathroom I heard the bickering of the two older offspring as they ate their cereal:

"Stop chewing with your mouth open!"
"I can chew however I want.  Stop being so annoying!"
"Well, you're annoying me."
"You don't have to pick on me all the time."
Blah, blah, blah.

By the time I was finished in the bathroom, I'd heard enough.  I went over to the table and told them I was tired of that game and that we were going to play a new game called Fill in the Blank.  I told Son #1 that he was to look at his brother and fill in the blank at the end of this sentence:  "Something that you do that I think is really great is..."   With a sarcastic smile he replied, "Nothing."  That earned him 15 minutes early to bed tonight, and the turn passed to Son #2, who said "Math."  Definitely true there.  

Finally my oldest wanted to play.  He said, "Well, you're great at farting."  Although I was hoping for a different kind of answer (something that would instill pride in his younger brother) I really couldn't disagree.  If you haven't yet read the November 16 posting, see that for reference.   And, BTW, my niece and sister-in-law want to see "Fartacus:  The Musical" on Broadway someday.  It might be a welcome addition to the mix after Spamalot closes.

Friday, November 21, 2008

No Raisin in the Son

At 6:40 this morning, ten minutes after his alarm clock had rung, I went upstairs to rouse my twelve year old.  Thus began the weekday ritual.

"What kind of cereal would you like?"

"What do you have?"

This part sometimes changes, based on the contents of the pantry.  "Rice Krispies, Corn Flakes, Honey Bunches of Oats, Rice Chex, Wheat Chex, Special K, Raisin Bran, Cheerios, and Honey Nut Cheerios."

"Does Raisin Bran have raisins in it?"

I looked around for Allen Funt's camera, and then recalled that the dear funny man had gone to meet his maker some time ago.  Then I looked back at my son, who seemed to be conscious but whose eyes were still closed.  Come on, this kid's an honor student.

"Apples and oranges.  No raisins."  Then he cracks a smile.  I continue.  "Oddly enough, that's how they came up with the name.  Bran flakes and raisins."

"Well, I don't want the raisins.  Can I just have a bowl of bran flakes?"

So I go downstairs and shake out a bunch of the cereal onto a paper towel, push the raisins to the side, and then slide the flakes into the bowl.  I repeat the process until I have a whole bowl of flakes and a handful of raisins on the tablecloth.  My ten year old, who's now ready to eat his breakfast, asks what I'm doing.  I explain.

"Can I have his raisins?"

I guess that's why I had more than one kid.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Quote by Robert Frost

"Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence."

I do cryptoquotes to keep my mind active, and occasionally I see a really excellent saying like this.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Happiness Is a Warm Hug

Tonight I ran a bunch of errands after dinner (primarily to get a few more Hanukkah presents for the kids...shh, don't tell 'em).  It is quite the blustery evening, so I was cold when I came in the house, and my hands were REALLY cold!  Son #3 dragged me over to the couch and he climbed on my lap to warm me up.  Son #2 came into the room and said, "Let the Human Furnace do the job."  Son #3 insisted that he was the Human Furnace Junior.

Anyway, the two of them each took one of my palms in their hands and warmed them.  Then they each hugged me on either side, then gave a big group hug in the middle.  Sigh.  Snuggle.  Next time you feel chilly, hug someone for warmth.  Or just hug someone you love, because you love 'em.  Hug someone because it just feels good.  Hurrah for hugs!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

You've Heard of Spartacus?

We have the silliest things happen at the dinner table sometimes.   Son #2 broke wind during the meal, and Son #3 said, "Nice going, Fartacus."  No idea where he got that, but we thought it was funny.

Today ended Son #1's soccer season.  Cold, windy day.  Both of the other kids were actually wearing long pants, and the littlest didn't mind wearing a hat.  Soccer dude didn't give me a hard time about wearing a long sleeved shirt under his team jersey.  This was not a winning season, but I think all the kids stretched themselves with regard to skills and positions.  How can that be a bad thing?

Friday, November 14, 2008

Social Acceptability

Apparently I alarmed a few people with my last post, which was sad and introspective.  Sorry, gang.  Pollyanna occasionally gets a reality check. 

Something amusing just happened at work which I'll share.  I happened to overhear the last ten seconds of a coworker's phone conversation.  It went like this.  "Right.  OK.  Oh.  Thanks for your suggestion.  Bye."  Then I heard the click of the receiver going back into the cradle.  Then:  "You're out of your mind!"  Of course I started giggling at this.  Turns out that it was a contractor who was giving her an estimate for some work to the outside of her home, and she'd done the research to know that the quoted price was way too high.

I know there are other people who would have said "You're out of your mind" directly to the contractor, and possibly would have included a few other choice words.  But my coworker was being polite and pleasant (plus, she is just a very classy lady).  It's often an interesting decision whether to be socially acceptable or direct.  Both have pros and cons.  But in this case the polite script was funnier.   :-)

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Ogres Are Like Onions

When we get to know someone who becomes a friend, the first layers of personality that we see are often attractive to us.  Sense of humor.  Easy to talk to.  Helpful.  Common interests and opinions.  Lots more than that, probably.

As time goes on, we are bound to expose layers that may be annoying or distasteful.  Insensitivity.  Fear of discussing sticky issues.  Tendency to complain or obsess.  Some conflicting moral fiber, possibly.  A couple of physical nits, maybe, such as a laugh that's a bit too loud or nasal.  But, in solid friendships, we can get past a small collection of these low points because the complete package is still so attractive.

What do we do when we realize, somewhere down the line, that we have kept exposing these sour layers to the point where the entire picture seems crisscrossed with them?  Maybe we've uncovered a major issue such as the realization that a friendship is really one sided, or we realize that we are often smarting from an increasing frequency of harsh judgment.  It can be painful to leave things the way they are, but even more painful to disengage from the relationship...particularly if this is a person who is a neighbor or coworker or someone else you cannot avoid seeing on a regular basis.  What then?

In my struggle to find the right answer for myself, it seems that we must grieve the loss of a relationship as we would grieve the loss of a loved one who has passed on, whether we're mourning a friendship that was once terrific but has deteriorated or whether we're mourning what we thought was a terrific friendship but is not so in reality.  Whether it is possible to gracefully back away, or whether one must dramatically cut the cord, depends on the exact circumstances.  I hope that sharing my thoughts will help you with your own disappointments.  I remain ever appreciative of my support network.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Old Friends, New Friends

Today's title sounds like a Berenstain Bears book, doesn't it?!?

A few weeks ago I went to the David Crosby/Graham Nash concert at Westbury Music Fair (OK it's really Capital One Theatre now, but I still refer to LIPA as LILCO and COSTCO as Price Club in true dinosaur-like fashion).  Two of my girlfriends accompanied me.  I know one of them for 20 years, from work, and the other one 30 years, from high school.  They hadn't known each other but hit it off famously.  Tonight the three of us had dinner together, having resolved to get together again after the concert -- and sat at the restaurant for nearly three hours talking.  Jobs, kids, our own childhoods, relationships...and we were in a complete groove.  We could have easily talked for another three hours if we weren't all headed home to our families.  I am so grateful for my friends, and so thrilled that we can build more friendships together! 

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Art Appreciation

Son #2 had his first meeting of the after school art club yesterday.  There were eleven kids in the group.  They were taught how to make 3-D paper ornaments to decorate the school for winter.  You have to begin with a square, fold it, and then make some cuts as if you were making a snowflake, but not quite.  When the cutting is finished, you carefully unfold the paper, wrap it around, and tape it to create the 3-D effect.

How do I know all this?  Because all three kids were using a bunch of our laser printer paper, basically all night long (with breaks for eating and showering) to create them.  Many of the pages ended up as candidates for recycling because the square wasn't perfect enough (!) or mistakes were made while snipping away.  Lots of grunts and whining heard about failures, but oh when they managed to create a good one:  "Mom!  Mom!"  I'm not sure what we're going to DO with all of the ornaments they made, but hey -- they were happy.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

What Do They Want? Blood?

Yeah!

Last night I sat at a table outside the gymnasium of our middle school from 8:00 to 9:00, recruiting donors for the district wide PTA blood drive in January.  I was impressed to see the number of voters who kept arriving at that late hour, and even the last few stragglers after 8:50.  I performed a valuable service which I hadn't anticipated:  I was able to direct many people to the voting booths as they wandered down the hall cluelessly.

I asked people to help our cause as they were headed out of the gym.  We filled up the pledge sheet, which was great.  It was encouraging to hear from the few people who told me they go over to Long Island Blood Services to donate regularly, as I do, and from the handful of people who said that they donate blood at work.  I was particularly touched by a conversation I had with an older gentleman who said he'd love to help but he takes Coumadin (an anticoagulant).  He promised to ask his wife and other family members to donate in his place, and he thanked me for volunteering my time.  He didn't say so, but I wonder whether he has received donor blood in the past.  A couple of other people praised me for supporting a positive community effort. 

Although it was late, and I was tired at the thought of folding laundry and doing other chores once I arrived home, I had a nice fuzzy feeling when I walked out through the double doors in the front of the school building.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Whoo Hoo, No Apathy Today!

Normally, when I show up at our elementary school to vote before work (at 7:00 or so) there are a handful of other people voting, and the election workers outnumber us.  Not this morning!

I arrived at 6:10 to find the parking lot pretty full.  People were steadily pouring in and out of the building.  I figure there were plenty of people lined up, waiting, before the 6AM starting time, in order for that many people to be finished already.  

Inside the gymnasium, there were two or three workers at each table, whereas under normal circumstances there is often only one.  There was a gal dressed in a business suit who was walking around and approaching voters who were unsure which table was theirs.  Obviously my local area is representative of the predicted high voter turnout.  In spite of the long lines, it was very well organized and I was finished with the entire process in ten minutes.

I get the feeling that many people voted this time to try to prevent one or the other candidate from winning.   Whether that's the right reason to vote, I'm not sure.  But I was pleased to see the crowd.  Maybe some of those who have not voted much in the past will get into the groove and continue to make their mark in the future.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Graveside Chat

On Sunday morning I got to spend a couple of hours with my best pal from childhood (no I DON'T want to say how long we know each other!).  She was in NYC visiting her honey, and they came out on the Long Island Rail Road to pay respects to her parents and grandma at a Jewish cemetery near Pinelawn.  Her mom is gone six years now, and her dad passed in 1980 -- but they were like a second set of parents to me.  So we were by Mom and Dad's monuments, reflecting upon the height of the bushes and sharing some memories.  All of a sudden, she notices a stone on the ground, a few spots over, with some worn writing.  Her eyes grow wide, and she asks:  "Does that say ATHEIST?!?"  I remarked, in flip fashion, that there might be many atheists there but no one really wanted to advertise this by carving it on stone.  Turns out the stone really said AT REST upon closer inspection.  Were we demented to have had a laugh over this?  Good company, regardless.