Creatively Suggestive Spam

OK gang, I think I have to make some commentary now.  This has been accruing for months.  At work we contract with Postini to catch a very large percentage of junk emails (they advertise a success rate of well over 90%) but of course some still makes it through.  Other local filtering mechanisms, plus my own management of my Mac Mail's "Junk" folder, keep even more of the nonsense out of my Inbox.  Overall, I've no cause for major complaints.

However, I find that some of the "male enhancement" messages that do make it through are pretty amusing.  They provide some new euphemisms for me (although, admittedly, I don't get out much).  Some sample subject lines:

Make your zipper knight the best in the whole town.

Support your custard launcher.

Give squish mittens due attention.

Best oil for pork motor!

Launch your love spaceship.

This reminds me of the standup routine that Dom Irrera used to do in the late eighties, with his cutesy accent (samples available on YouTube) complaining about how so-called macho men would brag about their sexual pursuits.  "I have to go home now to hump my honey...to lay some pipe...to hide the salami...to bury the bone...to moisten the wick...to slam the ham...to stuff the donut, to shoot the sherbet, to yodel in the canyon, to smack little Johnny behind the ear!  I don't talk like that.   Do you?"