Conferences, If You Can Call 'Em That

I have no idea how other large schools do this, but I'm really torn about our middle school's system of fall parent-teacher conferences. The principal even said at orientation that there's got to be a better way, but this is the best they have right now.

The kids bring around a sign-up sheet to their teachers, who fill in an available appointment slot for all the kids who request a conference. Each slot is three or four minutes long, due to the fact that there are 1500 kids in the school and they split conferences into two three hour evenings (one evening for each half of the alphabet). Some teachers use a timer, which seems harsh and impersonal, but on the other hand a 30 second overage results in a derailment of the entire schedule if things aren't brought back on track quickly. This often means you have to be lucky enough to have a parent miss an appointment or two...but it does happen because we are waiting to have one conference which is running late, and in so doing we miss an appointment that was scheduled 8, 12, or 16 minutes after that.

Getting a headache yet? Don't blame ya. Last year I asked my son to leave gaps of at least 8 minutes in between appointments, which helped, but didn't completely compensate for the usual mishaps. This year I have two kids on the same night, which has got to increase the madness exponentially. Except for a new wrinkle...

Son #2 has his "core" classes (English, math, social studies, science) with a team of four teachers who communicate regularly about the kids in their team. They sent a note home last night informing us that there would normally be a joint conference with all four teachers, obviating the need for four separate appointment slots...but due to the overcrowding they are reserving the slots for kids who have definite issues that need to be addressed, so they are hereby uninviting us to meet with them on conference night. Huh. I'm not completely put out, because I had phone conversations with three of the four teachers a few weeks ago when my smart but lazy sixth grader was conveniently neglecting his homework. It would seem that, because this temporary snag has been cleared up, they don't feel the need to meet with me and hubby.

Good for my son that he has no outstanding "issues" but I'm wondering how many other parents have been similarly uninvited who have not had any opportunity to speak with the teachers. (Open House is not the time or place, since each teacher only has 10 minutes for each of nine class periods to give the overall "this is who I am and what I do" spiel to the audience.) I wonder how many parents who do feel slighted will have the gumption to speak up and insist that they do get their precious four minutes, and how many either don't feel the need or are relieved that they are not expected to go.

I may, merely as a matter of principle, meet with my sixth grader's "encore" teachers anyway, but also because he's really excited about technology and I happen to know three of the other teachers already (band, chorus, and American Sign Language) and would enjoy reconnecting. We were given no such prohibition by our 8th grader's teachers and do plan to have our four minutes in the spotlight with each one of them.

I begin doing my Buddhist relaxation breathing for an event that will take place a week and a half from now. Namaste. Wish me luck!