Good Buy?

I am upset for a friend of mine who's heartsick over a child custody issue. Young teen daughter has been promised material things, vacations, and special privileges IF she goes to live with the other parent full time. Daughter has been bonding increasingly over the past several weeks with the "generous" parent and has become increasingly disrespectful to my friend, and resentful over my friend's reluctance to see this change take place.

At bed time tonight, when I sometimes chat with my kids about their day, I asked my two older sons what they thought of this situation (hypothetically, no names). My thirteen year old said he would like all the "stuff" but wouldn't want to go live in a place where it was just the stuff. My eleven year old said that it was the wrong thing to do, but if the daughter went there for a while, when she got a driver's license she could put all the "stuff" in a car and drive back to the other parent's house.

Before they both went to sleep, I asked them whether they had enough people in their lives whom they could talk to about any problems they might be having, other than Mom or Dad. One named three buddies at school (all good people from good families, yay) and the other named his aunt, cousins, and grandparents. OK, as long as they feel that they have support. Sometimes kids have heavy loads (at least as they see it). In my friend's case, it really is heavy for everyone involved, including my friend's son who has his own issues about his sister's impending change in living arrangements.

That old adage about setting someone you love free seems appropriate, but there has to be a clear way to come back. I hope and pray that it will happen, either as my eleven year old described or in some other way that allows love to continue. I also hope that the act of blogging about this will help me get some sleep, and I hope that my friend is able to get some rest tonight.