Tolerance and Respect

Earlier in the week, the dinner time conversation centered around Son #2's reporting of a recent incident in the boys' gym locker room. Another sixth grader throws a bunch of coins on the floor. When someone goes to pick them up, he says, "Oh wow, what a Jew." Old joke, right? Not to our sixth grader who doesn't understand why anyone would profile him in any way because of his religion. He got pissed and told the kid to knock it off, but the kid just laughed, along with the other kids in the locker room.

I was pretty sure the kid picked this schtick up from some other kid, since I know his mother well and didn't think she would encourage that kind of thinking at home. Also, the kid's younger brother is in Son #3's class and they are pals. I would have been content to call the kid's house to discuss with the mom, but hubby wanted the school dean to get involved. So we went that route. The two boys got together in the dean's office for a chat, and the joker came away with a sober understanding of the real meaning of his clowning around. His apology was accepted by my son.

Last night I got a call from the mom. She was mortified, horrified, sickened by the incident. She and her husband have family roots in the Middle East, and have suffered hurtful remarks themselves, but have always told their children that people are people and they are all the same inside. She and her husband grew up in a culturally diverse area of Queens and have always had a variety of friends with a variety of backgrounds. Also, the mom confided that her aunt married a Jewish man so she has had a Jewish uncle all her life. She had no idea where her son got the idea to say or do what he did, but promised that their family would talk about it some more and that they'd reinforce their principles.

Of course I was grateful for the call, and for the warm honest conversation. We hung up the phone both wishing that we could spread a wave of tolerance and respect across the world. Let's take those coins and throw 'em in a fountain instead.