Defeatism

Wikipedia says defeatism is "acceptance of defeat without struggle." In other words, why bother?

The old cliche about no one ever achieving anything by giving up is right on the money. It is heartbreaking to those of us who care deeply about others who practice defeatism. For instance, one of my children would rather throw up his hands and yell that he doesn't want to practice because he was only learning an instrument for Mommy's enjoyment. Ouch. Much more time and effort expended than actually practicing, and no positive result at all. Quite the opposite. Yet I remember how excited he was on the first day he brought his instrument home in elementary school. He seems to have forgotten, and it's merely a chore now.

Why? Laziness? Absolutely. Wouldn't it be more fun to watch mindless TV or play an engaging video game? Slogging through notes on a staff can be real work. Why else? Fear? Definitely. Fear that one's best work will not be good enough, or as good as the other kid who's been playing the same amount of time. Why else? Comfort zone? Sure. Defeatism perpetuates itself. Even though it sucks to be stuck in a rut, that's a familiar feeling. Trying to jump out of the pit, or to spread wings to fly, is a risk. Couldn't things get worse?

Recently I saw someone else take the equivalent of a life preserver in a drowning situation and just refuse to grab on to it. Big consequences. But if one goes through the trouble of grabbing the life line, it's a struggle to survive and it's an uphill battle all the way. Giving up requires much less effort. I can't understand why some people don't try at all when there's absolutely everything to be gained. Too tired to fight any more? Too emotionally spent? Too well trained to think that past attempts have failed, so future attempts will too?

I guess it's impossible for some to see into the future and realize that pride of accomplishment, including looking back where you've been, is HUGE. There's nothing like the feeling of having hoisted yourself by your own bootstraps (yeah yeah I know I'm dating myself with that metaphor). I'm sad for those who don't begin.