Joke #1: A mathematician got an earful from his wife after wandering home at 3 a.m. "You're late!" she yelled. "You said you'd be home by 11:45!"
"Actually," the mathematician replied coolly, "I said I'd be home by a quarter of 12."
Joke #2: The linguist's husband caught his wife in the arms of another man. "Susan," he said, "I'm surprised!"
"No, I'M surprised," she corrected him. "YOU'RE astonished."
Thank you, Reader's Digest...
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