Give Everything But Up

I borrowed the title of this post from my high school classmate whose daughter, Lexi, took her own life about seven months ago. This slogan has since been emblazoned on web pages, tee shirts, tattoos, banners, murals, and probably just about anything you can think of. The story was publicized heavily here on Long Island and around the globe. Lexi was a victim of cruelty by her peers, and felt that she would never be able to escape her misery.

My own childhood was pretty miserable too, and it took me years to find the silver lining. Cried every day after school. Internalized the image that people were projecting on me. Didn't feel there was anything I could do except suck it up and wait for each day to be over. Commiserated with my back yard neighbor (who was in a different grade at school) about the teasing she endured. Eventually it hit me that I couldn't control the behavior of those who were torturing me on a daily basis. All I could do was control my reaction to it. Bingo! Slowly I began to find peers who were willing to become my friends regardless of what the "cool" kids thought, and I built it up from there. By the time I went away to school (yippee, where very few people knew me) I was well on my way to being a social butterfly and a happy, positive person.

No more playing the victim. I now control my thoughts. I create my outlook. Might sound simplistic or even childlike but it really works for me, and I tend to attract people who are good for my self image (as opposed to toxic). I go to the extreme: I'm not a "glass half full" person but "one drop can easily be stretched to fill the glass" person. I live to put a positive spin on things. I give situations the full benefit of the doubt before I'm willing to give up on them. That goes double for people.

So why this post, at this time? Someone I care about, who has endured miserable circumstances for some time now, is thinking about throwing in the towel of life. Same as Lexi, feels that the persecution will never stop. Any life left is not worth living. Even though this person is ready to give up, I can't give up on this person. My conscience won't allow it. Also, as a parent, how would I explain it to my children? How could I give them the idea that they could use suicide as a way out of any prolonged adversity that they may encounter...with one of them barely into teenage and the other two soon to follow?

Here's hoping this person takes one last look at the alternatives, and decides to run at full tilt for the best one. I'm not religious, but those who are might say that ending one's own life guarantees a worse experience in the hereafter than one could ever have here.